Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs: Where Do You Stand?

Psychology Behind the Sheepdog Response

You’ve heard of the Sheepdog Response, right? If not, buckle up because you need to.

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman laid it out in On Combat—he splits society into three groups:

1. Sheep (your average law-abiding citizens)

2. Wolves (the predators)

3. Sheepdogs (the protectors)

The Sheepdog Response is all about being that protector. The one who’s ready to defend his family and community when things go south.

Why the Metaphor Matters

Sheep? They live their lives in peace, and that’s fine—until a wolf comes along. Wolves are the ones preying on the weak.

Then you’ve got the sheepdogs, always watching, ready to step in and stop the wolves.

This isn’t just some cute analogy; it’s a reality check. You either step up to protect or hope someone else does.

Why You Should Care About Sheepdog Training

Sheepdog training isn’t about becoming some paranoid nutjob who sees threats in every shadow.

It’s just about being prepared, plain and simple.

And trust me, the confidence you get from this training is life-changing.

You stop worrying about “what if” and start knowing that you’ve got the skills to handle whatever comes your way.

Being a Sheepdog is more than just learning how to defend yourself—it’s about mastering your mind.

You’ll learn to keep your cool when things heat up, make fast decisions, and walk away knowing you’ve got this, both in self-defense and in life.

It's Not Just About You

When you train to be a sheepdog, you’re not just doing it for you. Your community benefits. Your family feels safer. And people see you leading by example.

When more people adopt the sheepdog mindset, you end up with a whole community standing guard protecting each other, keeping the community safe. That’s powerful.

The Sheepdog's Path

So, what's the takeaway here?

The Sheepdog Response isn't just a concept—it’s a call to action. It’s about stepping into the role of protector, not just for your own peace of mind but for your family, your community, and, frankly, for a world that could use a few more sheepdogs.

Whether it’s staying calm under pressure, building real confidence, or setting an example for others, this mindset shifts how you approach life.

It’s not about living in fear. It’s about living ready. So, what’s your next move? Stick with the sheep, or rise up as the sheepdog? The choice is yours.

And if you're ready to take that first step, don't wait. Click here to read the full article and get started today.

Stay safe, and keep protecting what matters most!

Paul Simoes

PS. Want to learn more? Join the "Fight or Flight" community and stay updated on self-defense tips and mindset strategies. Sign up for our pro newsletter and become part of the pack.

From Around The Net

Let me break down a fascinating video I recently watched featuring Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, the military trainer, author, and expert on combat and the psychology of killing.

If you're unfamiliar with his work, Grossman has spent years teaching soldiers and police officers about what it really means to take a life in the line of duty—something most of us can only imagine, but a topic that has real-world relevance for anyone interested in personal defense.

In the video, Grossman introduces his new children's book Sheepdog…

.…and yes, you heard that right—a children's book.

Grossman takes the concept of the sheepdog—a person who stands ready to protect others from harm—and turns it into a lesson for kids.

The message? You don’t have to be a soldier or a police officer to be a sheepdog.

You just have to be someone who’s willing to stand up for what’s right and protect those who can’t protect themselves.

Here are the highlights from the video:

• Sheepdog is aimed at teaching children the concept of being a protector.

• The sheepdog is used as a metaphor for someone who is ready to shield others from danger.

• The book drives home the idea that anyone—even kids—can step up and be a sheepdog in their own way.

• Grossman touches on the classic idea that the world is divided into three groups: sheep (good people who want to live in peace), wolves (those who wish to do harm), and sheepdogs (those willing to defend the sheep).

• The key takeaway for kids? Be brave, do what's right, and always stand up to the wolves when necessary.

Grossman simplifies this age-old analogy into a digestible lesson for the next generation, and honestly, it’s a great tool for parents who want to instill some real-world values in their kids without scaring them off.

Ask Us Anything?

Do you have any specific questions you want answered? Just respond back to this email or use [email protected].

Here’s this weeks question:

Q - What’s the best way to de-escalate a confrontation before it turns physical?

A - De-escalation is an essential skill in self-defense that can often prevent situations from becoming violent.

The goal is to calm the aggressor, reduce tension, and create space to safely exit.

Here are some key principles and techniques:

1. Stay Calm and Control Your Emotions: When someone confronts you aggressively, your natural instinct might be to respond with equal aggression or to become defensive. However, reacting emotionally will only escalate the situation. Take a deep breath and remain calm. When you control your emotions, you’re in a better position to de-escalate the other person. This also signals to the aggressor that you are not a threat, which can diffuse their aggression.

2. Use Non-Aggressive Body Language: Your body language is critical in de-escalating a situation. Stand slightly sideways to the aggressor, which is a less confrontational stance than facing them directly. Keep your hands visible in a neutral, non-threatening position—often referred to as the "fence position" in self-defense circles. Your hands should be open and at chest level, which shows you're not looking for a fight but also positions you to react if necessary. Avoid pointing, clenching your fists, or standing in an intimidating posture.

3. Speak Softly and Slowly: Lowering your voice and speaking calmly can have a calming effect on the aggressor. People tend to mirror the behavior of those around them—if you’re calm, they are more likely to calm down as well. Keep your tone non-confrontational, and don’t shout or raise your voice. Speaking slowly also helps control the pace of the interaction, giving you time to assess the situation and respond appropriately.

4. Use Empathy and Active Listening: Try to understand the other person's point of view, even if they are irrational or angry. Acknowledging their feelings can often help them feel heard, which can reduce their aggression. Use phrases like “I understand you’re upset” or “I can see why this is frustrating for you.” This can make them feel less isolated and less likely to escalate the situation. Sometimes just validating their feelings can take the edge off their aggression.

5. Avoid Arguing or Trying to “Win”: Remember, de-escalation is not about proving who’s right or wrong. Your goal is to end the confrontation, not to win an argument. Arguing back will only fuel their anger and make things worse. Avoid making sarcastic or dismissive remarks, and don’t interrupt them when they’re speaking, even if they’re wrong. Keep the conversation focused on defusing the situation, not escalating it.

6. Maintain Personal Space: Keep a safe distance between you and the aggressor. A good rule of thumb is to stay at least an arm’s length away to protect yourself if things turn physical. If the person is moving toward you, take small steps backward while keeping eye contact, as this shows you’re not running away, but you’re also not inviting further confrontation. Don’t back yourself into a corner—always have an exit route.

7. Use Distraction and Redirection: Sometimes, changing the subject or redirecting the aggressor's focus can diffuse a situation. You might say something like, “Hey, I get you’re upset, but why don’t we take a step back and figure out how to fix this?” Distraction can interrupt their anger cycle and give them a chance to reset their emotions. Offering solutions or suggesting a way out of the confrontation can also reduce tension.

8. Know When to Walk Away: De-escalation won’t always work, especially if the aggressor is too emotional, intoxicated, or intent on violence. In these cases, your best option is to disengage and walk away, if possible. Don’t view walking away as cowardice; it’s a smart decision that can prevent unnecessary harm. If the aggressor persists, make sure you’re ready to defend yourself, but always prioritize avoiding physical conflict whenever possible.

9. Set Verbal Boundaries, if Necessary: If the person continues to escalate and verbal de-escalation isn’t working, you may need to assertively set a boundary. Without raising your voice, you can say something like, “I don’t want any trouble, but if you don’t back off, I will defend myself.” This shows you’re not passive, and you’re ready to take action if necessary. It’s important to deliver this firmly but without sounding threatening or hostile.

10. Use Humor (Carefully): Humor can sometimes diffuse tension, but it must be used wisely. Light-hearted humor might break the tension and shift the mood, but it can also backfire if the person feels you are mocking or not taking them seriously. If you have a good sense of timing and can read the situation well, humor might be your ace card. However, use it sparingly and carefully.

11. Trust Your Instincts: Finally, trust your gut. If the person’s body language and tone of voice suggest they are escalating toward violence, it’s crucial to prioritize your safety and remove yourself from the situation. De-escalation is important, but your instincts about potential danger should always come first.

De-escalation is about communication, empathy, and maintaining control.

By mastering these techniques, you increase the chances of resolving confrontations peacefully and avoiding the need for physical defense.